Update on the Vroom Vroom Post.

Question asked: does God ever give you something you want, even though it's not something you're supposed to have?

Answer: God gives you freedom of choice. Meaning you KNOW you aren't supposed to have it, and He calls you to abandon yourself of earthly things, yet the option is still there. Refusing yourself for divine matters is a huge part of the act of loving God.

Maybe it could be deemed a "test of faith", but let's not get dramatic here.

So far I've been living a rather unimpressive life, defined by things which aren't going to mean much. When I get to heaven, I really don't want my conversations with God to be about the guys I liked/dated, the school subjects I did or did not enjoy, or the hours I spent scanning groceries at Brookshire's.

i don't want my life to be a series of complaints about mundane events.

I want a life with a story worth telling. Not necessarily anything that will get me into the history books, I don't really have a deep seeded desire for vast fame and fortune. But I want a life full of adventures and experiences which not only make me a well rounded person, but that gives me something great to talk about with God once I'm with him face to face. I want to talk to God like a best friend. I mean sure he's my savior and Father, the Righteous Judge who's wrath is something worth fearing, someone who's respectable above all measures... but a relationship with God is way more than just "fearing" Him. A relationship is something you work at, God is someone you talk to. I can't even BEGIN to emphasize the importance and the power of prayer! Through prayer, through his word, (and through any other means which he sees fit,) God can communicate with you. So yeah... I think it would be very possible to be buddy-buddy with God!

I want to get to heaven already knowing God on a personal level and being able to say "i saw you here, i saw you here, remember this? remember this? I want us to talk like we're 7th grade girls at a sleepover with thousands of inside jokes (all of which i'll remember, because hey... why wouldn't i have a perfect memory in heaven?), all of which emphasize his glory, grace, power and AWESOMENESS.

Anyway, in summary, I'm asking God of a lot of help to not define myself by the beliefs and opinions of others. I'm in a very... weird... place right now. A place i'm somewhat excited to be in because there's a lot of room for growth, but a place that I kind of had to make a lot of mistakes and miscommunications to get to. I want God to define me, I don't want to define myself anymore. I think He has a better idea than I do.....