Thanks.

Family... Friends... The Ability to Breathe... A House... Clothes... A Job...

These are the things that everyone and their dog claims to be thankful for. But seriously, ARE you thankful for them?
More personally, am I truly thankful for them? Not to be fatalistic and depressing, but can anyone truly understand how much they should appreciate something, before that blessing is gone?

All throughout the Bible there are verses (especially in Psalms) about giving thanks to God, for He is good. All of our blessings, whether or not we actually appreciate them, are given to us by God. Perhaps appreciation grows by giving the thanks that we have been commanded to give :) This makes sense, I mean, if you don't even recognize something as a gift, as something that you actually have no right to have on your own, why WOULD you be appreciative of it?
Through offering thanks to God, he gives us TRUE thanks. Something about that idea is really awesome to me. Maybe it's the fact that even our ability to appreciate something is completely God-given.
The more time that passes, the more I think God reveals to me that there isn't anything He can't do for me, better than I could ever imagine doing myself. He takes away the pressure :)

Colossians 3:17 - "And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him." 

The Harry Potter Denomination. (12th Grade Essay for Mr. Beaumont's Dual Credit English)

The following is a paper I wrote in High School. Considering the newest Harry Potter movie just came out, it seemed fitting to re-post this. 

            Religion is a touchy subject for almost everyone. Some people wish to not be associated with any religion at all, and are therefore offended that someone would assume that they believe anything, some strongly believe that there is no God and are offended by people who believe that He exists. Others believe in God and that Jesus was the Christ who came to earth in bodily form to save humanity from our own transgressions so that we could be reunited with God. Christians can often be offended by those who do not believe in God.

            Christians can also be offended by other Christians. According to http://www.religioustolerance.org, there are approximately 1,500 denominations of Christianity in the North America. This means that there are around 1,500 groups of people who believe something either slightly or drastically different from the other 1,499 denominations. Anytime people disagree on some idea, especially when in areas related to personal theology, Christians tend to become fast to rebuke and slow to listen.  I believe that this has caused a wall to be built up among believers which is causing the body of Christ to not function as smoothly as it possibly could. Rifts and petty disagreements have been blown up, shifting a large amount of church focus from God onto rivalry, and taking away from the ability to properly represent Christ to unbelievers.

            The Harry Potter books by J.K. Rowlings have faced large amounts of controversy over the years, because they are about a young wizard and his group of friends who go to a special school where they learn to control their magical powers. Parents and theologians have voiced concern over the books, claiming that they directly go against the word of God and therefore should not be read. A quote in an article from Cutting Edge Ministries went so far as to say,

            “Harry Potter books are teaching your children all these abominable practices! (Referring to the practices of witches and wizards). Your children will be among the masses of people in the world that will be so conditioned to the values, attitudes, and religious practices of Antichrist, that they will follow him, worship him, and ultimately take his Mark.”

            Charles Colson, a former Special Council member for Nixon during the Watergate scandal, who converted to Christianity and became a leader in the Christian rights movement, had this to say about the books:

             "It may relieve you to know that the magic in these books is purely mechanical, as opposed to occultist. That is, Harry and his friends cast spells, read crystal balls, and turn themselves into animals--but they don't make contact with a supernatural world."

In this quote, Colson does not necessarily support the Harry Potter series, but instead is pointing out a general fact about the books for the purpose of dispelling a common assumption that they teach children about evil sorcery.

            It appalled me to discover that the article containing the quote was entitled,

“CHARLES COLSON REVEALS HIS TRUE INNER HEART IN HIS DEFENSE OF HARRY POTTER'S MAGIC AND OTHER WITCHCRAFT

Subtitle: ( Shockingly, Charles Colson of Watergate fame, supposedly "Christian", defends Harry Potter by telling Christian parents that the magic in Harry Potter books is the "good" magic. His statement qualifies as either the most ignorant or the most worthless remark in the history of the English language.)”

The article did not merely question Colson’s Christianity. After a comment by Colson which said that Pope John Paul II was a respected Christian leader, it denounced Colson’s Christianity saying,

            “How can any "Christian" leader, who is supposedly under the guiding hand of   the Holy Spirit, say such a thing about a blatantly false religious leader as Pope John Paul II? Discerning Christians the world over know the Papacy is terribly false, and yet this supposed "Christian" leader is heaping this kind of praise upon him!”

The rebuking and condemnation of Colson for his affirmation of the Harry Potter books and faith in the Roman Catholic Church did not stop there. Throughout the whole article I felt as though I myself was being yelled at and reproached for any differing opinion I might have had. The article claims that parents who allow or have allowed their children to read the Harry Potter books will have to face the Lord’s indignation, and then concludes by providing a link for readers who wished to receive more information on being “born again.”

            The tone of the article was atrocious and offensive, even to me, someone who has no ties with the Catholic Church. I can only imagine what effect this article had on non believers. The hatred and condemnations which was shown did not justly display the character of Jesus, and could even be said to have overstepped the boundaries of Christian guidance.

            Matthew 7:1-5 says,

            “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce

            you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to

            you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not

            notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother,

            ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own

            eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you

            will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.”

We as humans cannot see the state of someone’s heart. Only God can truly know whether they are a Christian or not. True, false claims of Christianity come from many different sources, but is our job as Christians to reject these people, or to love them?

            I firmly believe that if Christians were to stop accusing each other of their falsities, that more people would desire to be a part of the peace, harmony, and love that Christianity would then come to be associated with. Instead of being put off by the lack of community among different branches of Christianity, nonbelievers would, instead,  have a clearer view of who Christianity is truly about: Jesus Christ.

Snow in November.

A lot of people hate winter. They hate the cold weather and the sniffles that come with it.

In literature, winter is representative of death, darkness, and/or suffering.

To me, winter is love. 

Winter is like an art gallery. It is a square, white room with old wooden creaky floors, filled with silence [and beauty]. The memories we make during winter, these are the paintings. They pop against the backdrop and stand out, allowing you to see the beauty of every moment, bringing everyone closer together. It's about appreciating a crackling fireplace - stealing a sip of your best friend's hot cocoa - cuddling under a blanket - 

It's about feeling the warmth in your heart for the people around you, grow with the warmth flowing from the heater. It's about plugging in the electric blanket, and wearing socks to bed.

The day is yours, and yours also the night; 
   you established the sun and moon. 
It was you who set all the boundaries of the earth; 
   you made both summer and winter.
-Psalm 74:16-17

Sin Stew.

Sin.... is like cafeteria food.

I visited Howard Payne twice before actually enrolling, and therefore got to taste the food twice. After both times, my mom and I could not help but discuss how great it was. "So tasty! So delicious! It's like heaven for my tastebuds!"
(I'm glad my mom and I don't actually talk like that.)
So... school starts. The first week was fine, I don't really remember having anything to complain about. The second week comes, and... once again, there really isn't much negative feedback on the quality of food. About a month into school though, I remember sitting at the lunch table and saying "Is it just me, or is this food getting worse by the day?"
Suddenly, every conversation that had been taking place stopped, and everyone started excitedly yelling that they agreed! Sophomores and Juniors would, at times, dejectedly look down and make sad comments about how "that's how it is every year."
Kyle Heidleburg proceeded to tell everyone about how at the end of the year, when barely anyone is left on campus, they take everything that is left in the kitchen and turn it into a stew. Within this stew, one can barely ever label what the contents are. We were all disgusted.

Satan uses "delicious" things to make sin look tempting and wonderful. You give in, indulge in the sin, and for awhile, everything goes fine! You aren't getting in trouble... you aren't getting caught...
Then one day you look in the mirror and you find that all the indulgence has led to the "Freshman 15" of sinning. We are disgusting -- so much so in fact, that, just like the stew, we can barely differentiate what our individual sins are anymore. (Sin has a way of building up over time and bringing in other sins along with it.)

Fortunately, God always offers redemption and forgiveness, all we have to do ask, and seek Him.
God is love. God is mercy. God is beautiful and perfect: the best and only true sin-loss plan to ever be!

The unfortunate thing, is that I'm still stuck eating in the cafeteria every day.
(and yes, this was just a way for me to complain about the food here.)
:)

Possibilities of Love.

"If anyone wishes to come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me" (Luke 9:23).

In this verse, there is no room left for hesitation or second thoughts. It is unsettling to think about, and the demanding requirements of it are some of the main reasons why men and women hold themselves back from fully following Christ. 

It is important to recognize that most of the greatest strides of Faith from Christians, come from the times when they just TRUST God and do His Will, no questions asked.

Well... I think God has laid something on my heart (and it scares me to death).

First, let me start by saying that I have never felt called to serve as a missionary or to be the most... evangelical Christian ever. I see great benefits in mission trips and the like, but actually serving in a mission field as a "missionary" for an extended period of time has always been something that I assumed would never be my calling...... until now.

I still don't think I'm supposed to be a missionary, but there's a program that I found out about through a really good friend of mine (who did the program himself), which not only intrigues me but seems so... right.

The program? Mission Year.

This is a year long service project where Christian, Young Adults are placed in teams of 5 or 6, and live in a needy city from the beginning of September, to the beginning of the following August. They find different service projects throughout the city and become involved in the community, helping neighbors and showing everyone around them the love of Christ. The mission statement of Mission Year is "Love God / Love People // Nothing Else Matters". 

For awhile now I've felt static, like God wasn't doing anything with me. I've always had a passion for people, and, specifically in the past week, have been faced with the fact that I as a selfish human being, care much more about myself than about other people, and to be truthful, more than I care about God.

I know I am specifically called by God to Love Him by Loving others, and this project would be an extreme way of doing that. I would have to give up basically everything I have and put many aspects of my life on hold: school, relationships, and my job, just to name a few. This would be a radical way of living the already radical calling which we all have, (to deny ourselves and follow God's will instead), and I think it would be one of the most beneficial.

Stippick (my friend who served through Mission Year in New Orleans in 08-09) sat down with me last night and told me everything I could ever want to know about the program. He told me of the trials, of the stresses, of the arguments and of the hardships which he and his team mates faced... but he also told me of the joy it produced, the relationships which it forged, and of the understanding of God, Others, and Self which it brought forth. He said he would do it again in a heartbeat.

I don't know if this is EXACTLY what I'm supposed to do yet, but prayers of wisdom and understanding would be greatly appreciated. All I can do is pray about this: that God will show me the path He has for me, which will empower me in Him and strengthen both my faith, AND my ability to LOVE.

But, I Digress.

Sometimes we mess up. We're human, it's going to happen because we're imperfect. This does NOT give us a right to make mistakes or in anyway justify our wrongs, but the truth of the matter is, we ARE going to mess up.

Well, I've messed up. Now, I have a lot of past actions that I regret, but most of them are mistakes that have mostly affected me. When you finally do something that devastates not only yourself, but specifically the people around you who you care about the most... well, it's a completely different kind of guilt.

Tonight at Genuine was rough. It was also one of the most touching church experiences of my life. Instead of the normal, play-four-songs-message-for-20-30-minutes-four-more-songs-then-done, type of format, the played about two songs, then had an open mic where people just shared what God was doing in their lives.
The theme of the night DEFINITELY was God's forgiveness and grace and love, and how he renews us and makes us clean and how in order to move on in our relationships with Him and with others, we have to make a conscious effort to love HIM and know HIM.
I broke DOWN. I never got up to say anything, if I had, it would have been a big blubber of words, impossible to understand. The whole experience is ridiculously humbling, which is a sad answer to a prayer I've had for awhile (that God would humble me before Him).
I feel like I've come a long way from where I was before this weekend began, and, if it makes sense, part of that journey was backpedaling.
Backpedaling from the prideful, arrogant spot I was in where I honestly was not worried about sin because I seriously thought I was in such an awesome place with God, I definitely know some new things.
One of the most important things which I have already learned from this (and this might seem like a random thing to learn, but I think God specifically has wanted me to learn this lesson for the past few months/year):
I. AM. NOT. AN. ADULT.

It frustrates me to realize that and to know that. But I am not self-disciplined in many regards and am very naive about... myself.
Good news, a lot of college is about discovering who you are, and God has definitely surrounded me with people who are guiding me toward Him.

There's still a lot of work left to do, though. I think the first step is recognizing all of this. From there, I can more diligently right the wrongs and find out from Him where I'm supposed to be headed.

Purposeful Joy.

Have you ever been so full of joy that you thought you were going to explode?

I need an outlet! I have a Father who loves me and I need a way to express and share how wonderful He is!

What am I doing here?! What's my purpose here?! No matter where you are at, God has a mission for you, but what is mine?

Energetic love is coursing through my veins, I want to share it with others and express it to the world!!!
I love the phrase, "faith expresses itself through action." I'm getting anxious for that action.
We as Christians aren't meant to wait for opportunity to come to us, we are meant to reach out and discover opportunity and discover needs that haven't been met, and then fill them. Having never done this before in my life, though, I'm very confused with where to begin.

Freshman Fifteen. Light Bulbs. Love.

Last night I was reading some random blogs, and I ran across one that read:

"There is war and famine, greed and environmental destruction. This week, however, what is really important is that for the first time in over 5 years, I fit into my pre-baby pants. They're even a bit loose. Sometimes it really is the small stupid things that matter."

This unsettled me a lot, basically because this is a blatant version of the me I try to hide from myself, but still indulge. There ARE people in the world getting persecuted for their faith in God, there are little children who have HIV and AIDS, there are women being abused, there are orphans sleeping in the street, and there are entire families which find themselves starving on a daily basis. Yet my heart breaks more in annoyance with the inevitable "Freshman Fifteen" than for any of these serious and awful things.

NEVER do I want to think about the wretched things in the world, and not find a righteous sorrow in them. But here I am, caught up in my own fleeting emotions, finding myself heartbroken over not receiving certain selfish desires, instead of heartbroken over the fact that there are entire cultures who have never even heard the beautiful name of Jesus Christ.

In the grand scheme of things, whether or not I fit into a pair of pants which I was easily able to wear at the beginning of the school year, should never determine who I am or how I define myself.

Now, is WANTING to fit into the same pants I came here wearing wrong? For a long time I have struggled with my own inward desires. I have found myself ashamed of them, whether they're actually shameful, or quite innocent. I have tried to look at the subject of God's Will matching up with my desires, and have always done silly little confusing circles around it.

"Oh, God wouldn't make me want this unless it were his will."

"Why would God be giving me feelings for -insert guy here- if we weren't supposed to be together?"

True, God created our desires. Why else would He have made the Garden of Eden so pleasant a place, or food so good to taste? What's important to recognize is that Satan does use our pride and our desires to attract us to sin. Desires themselves are not inherently good or evil, but all too often we become so consumed with what we think we want, that we disregard what God actually has planned for us.
I find myself constantly planning and planning and planning, only to have all of my own plans thrown back in my face and God saying "silly child, My way is the only way." I find myself relying more on my own self, than I do on my perfect Savior. The heart of the issue is one of trust.

Gabi and I have frequent conversations on the subject of trusting in God. It's one thing to say you trust God, but it's completely different to go about your life actually actively trusting God. Gabi always loves to drive the point home by saying, "How pathetic is it that I have more faith that when I hit the light switch the light will turn on, than I do in my God?" Whenever she says that, it's like a verbal punch, because I know she's right.

Thankfully, our God is an awesome God of love and mercy, who pours out grace on the wicked and embraces all who've sinned. We fall short, so short, of His glory, but he still sent his one and only son to die on the cross that we may be forgiven, redeemed, and reborn!

The truth of the matter is, we're going to mess up. Knowing that we're going to mess up never gives us a right to mess up, but it is important to recognize and acknowledge our complete imperfection. This imperfection exists so that we may rely on god. "So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy" (Romans 9:16)

God created our desires and He asks us to set our thoughts on those things which will encourage a desire for good. But, in all aspects of our Christian walk, whether in our thoughts or in our deeds, we must remember that we depend completely on God for our salvation.

So I want to be healthy enough to fit into the same pants that I did upon first arriving to college. Nothing wrong with that. And the blogger at the beginning found happiness from how she was able to fit into her pre-baby pants. Good for her!

We just need to make sure that God has such control of our hearts that we are not being distracted from our true purpose in life: to love and obey God by sharing His love and knowledge of Him with others.