New Chapters.

A lot has changed over the past year. Who I was at the beginning of 2010 is definitely a different person from who I was during 2011. The changes that occurred were not only hair color and personal style, but I definitely went through a huge personality change.

Who I became towards the end of senior year, and throughout the summer, is NOT the person I ever want to be again. A few months ago, towards the beginning of November, I had a relapse. School had been going SO well, and I felt like I was on the right track and pace in my relationship with God. So much so, in fact, that I became prideful and completely trusted myself, when I still really hadn't gained by my own trust in myself. I let my guard fall, and then I fell. 

Temptation is always around you. When Satan can't get you one way, he'll hit you from another angle. Especially when you're pride is in the way.

Anyway, I made a mess of things. This is something I definitely regret, and I'm still having to learn to forgive myself. Knowing that God's forgiveness is there, and that the people around you have forgiven you too, isn't enough. I think you can KNOW that you're forgiven, but it isn't REALLY until you forgive yourself that you really BELIEVE in the forgiveness. I may be wrong in this point; it isn't something I've exactly mulled over for hours. What I do know for sure, is that self forgiveness is vitally important.

So here's to the new semester and the 2nd chapter of college: new classes, new furniture arrangment, new friends, new room mate; and here's to embracing the changes, righting the wrongs, and learning how to truly live a life of love.